Monday, November 21, 2011

First World Problems in a Developing Country (Nov 15, 2011)

I wake up in the night and make my way through the dark to the bathroom. This might sound stupid but I have a fear of snakes – specifically snakes in the toilet. As per my ridiculous habit, I peer tentatively into the bowl before dropping trou.

I must say that I no longer consider my toilet bowl checking a ridiculous habit. There WASSSSS a snake in there! Ok – a really skinny short snake or maybe a large worm, I am not sure which one.

You can imagine the dilemma one faces when they really have to go pee and there is only one toilet and that toilet has a snake-like creature in it. Do you hold it? Pee outside? Go ahead and pee on the snake-thing?

I think that my toilet-bowl friends were blind snakes -
saw them on a 'snakes of Malawi' poster
I am not entirely proud of what I did, many of you know that I am a vegetarian and firm believer in animal rights.  In my defense, I had to go really badly and there is a night guard with a really powerful flashlight. Imagining him shining that light on my bare pale skin as I squat peeing quickly ruled out that option.

I also reason that the thing is ok in water given that it is swimming in the bowl… so I squat as far away from the throne as possible and try not to hit him. As I go back to bed I wonder if I have hurt him and hope that wormy-snake germs can't travel upstream. 

When I return to the bathroom a few hours later, there are a number of them. Some swimming, some crawling under the rim of the seat and one has even made it onto the floor. I conclude that they know how to jump and opt not to squat over them… 

First world problems in a developing country. 

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