Malawian Proverbs

Sitting in the office with my colleague Eddie, I learn that the Malawian government has made a commitment to phase out a toxic compenent of HIV treatment. This response was partially triggered by an advocacy letter that Eddie himself signed.

Laughing, he say's 'I'm glad for the result. I thought I had burnt my fingers signing that letter'.

I sit dumbfounded for a moment, trying to understand what he is saying. After a second I realize that he is saying that he thought he had made a career limiting move by signing the letter, a very political act of advocacy.

After congratulating him oncemore on such a huge victory, I start thinking about the use of proverbs here. What a simple and beautiful way to express himself. It gives the listener an image, ignites the mind and accurately conveys his message. Burning ones fingers is much nicer than saying 'I thought I screwed myself over'

Malawians use a plethora of proverbs in daily life. These are used for expressing thoughts and feelings as well as imparting lessons.

Coming from a very direct culture, these mind twisters are oftentimes lost on me. Its a shame that I can't seem to wrap my head around more because they are one of the parts of Malawian culture that I appreciate most.

After a year here, I've managed to learn a few that I apply to my experience in Malawi.

Being that I'm leaving this week, I wanted to share the proverbs that have helped me understand this experience.

1) Proverb: 'Walira mvula walira matope.'

Translation: 'He who cries for rain cries for mud.'

In a country where over 80% of Malawians engage in subsistence agriculture (growing their own food to eat), the rains are fundamental to life. Mud being a byproduct of rain, the proverb reminds us that if we ask for something, we have to also be prepared to take what comes along with it.

I came to Malawi because I desperately wanted to learn about a different way of life, to develop as a person and to hopefully to make a difference. My time here has allowed me space to do these things but hasn't been without challenges. The proverb reminds me to suck it up when I'm taking a cold shower, sitting in the dark or craving cheese - because these challenges are the mud to my rain.

2) Proverb: 'Zidze pano ndi zatonse'

Translation: 'That which befalls one of us befalls all of us.'

Child in Rural Nkhotakota, Malawi

Follow the leader! Nkhotakota, Malawi

This translation apparently doesn't capture the full meaning behind the proverb. When asking colleagues to translate, they would say things like 'if the ship is off course, we are all going in the wrong direction' or 'when the rain falls we all get wet' – not direct translations, but they were trying to convey the actual meaning.

Coming from a culture which prioritizes individuality, this type of communal mentalitiy has been a pleasant shift in my way of thinking. It is true that events that have occurred during my time here have help bind me to the country. I felt afraid along with Malawians when the president died and a new leader wasn't announced for days. I felt angered alongside my fellow women at the trouser strippings and joyful at the coming into power of Malawi's first female president. Devaluation of the currency by 50% and the subsequent inflation was felt by all of us. The HIV virus impacts our workplaces, relationships and communities. When someone gets married (however distant the relation) we all go to celebrate.

Oftentimes when walking here, people come and walk beside me. Sometimes they speak and ask questions, and sometimes they just silently keep pace and provide company. There is a sense of community and connection to fellow humans here. Zidze pano ndi zatonse.

3)  Proverb: 'A child who doesn't leave his family compound thinks his mother is the best cook.'

Typical Malawian food: Nsima, chambo, soup and rape (green leafy veg).

First off: Mom, I love your cheese and brocolli casserole.

This said, trying new things allows us to experience more of the beautiful flavours and textures that life has to offer. Coming here and trying something different has allowed me to experience new music, different types of food, words in a new language, and a different approach to time to name a few.

I'm grateful for these experiences and have no doubt that they will continue to enhance my life after I leave.

The use of proverbs in language is something else that I have come to appreciate being here – something I wouldn't have gotten if I'd stayed on the family compound.

Eating typical Malawian food with my friend Happy Joe.

Software of the Mind - Part 5: Ideals of Beauty & Being Called FAT

I was recently out of town for work and sharing a room with a colleague. In addition to being a lovely woman, she is also a beautiful ‘big Malawian Mama’ (very round in stature).

Every evening when I put on my pajamas (a fitted t-shirt and yoga pants), she would tell me that I was getting fatter in Malawi. She would say something like ‘Malawi is making you soooooo FAT’ or ‘Every day you are looking FATTER and FATTTERR’….

So what does a 26 year old, weight sensitive, Canadian woman do when she is repeatedly called fat in Malawi?


Well, she does what many of my demographic do best - act passive aggressive. I would try to laugh it off and ask her ‘do you really think so?’ to confirm that she meant it. 


After confirmation I would then crawl into bed, choking back tears and feeling wounded. I would silently vow that tomorrow, I would eat less nsima, find time to do some exercise, stop myself from morphing further into the hideous, fat beast of a woman that I had become (sarcasm).

After the 3^rd day of hearing about my apparently exponential expansion, I couldn’t take it anymore.


I told her, in as much gentleness and restraint as I could muster, that in my culture, telling someone how fat they are is done to tell them they have a problem or in order to hurt their feelings.

She looked stunned and worried before explaining to me that she was paying me a compliment based on African ideals of beauty. 


I breathed deeply, let go of my stupid western fat-phobic conditioning, and thanked her for calling me fat.

Software of the Mind - Part 4: Verbal Expression

A few months ago, I was sent to a meeting on gender and HIV. The group was trying to decide upon the next steps required to launch their coalition.

I had (what I thought to be) a great idea, and decided to share it. I structured my argument in the same way I would in Canada:

I stated my point concisely (I think we need to do X first, followed by Y and then Z) and then provided the necessary rationale (because it would be more challenging to do Y before  X first for this reason, and it would be in our best interest to do Y before Z for this reason).

After what I thought to be a pointed intervention, everyone in the room looked at me perplexed, it was as if I had been speaking another language.

I listened as the conversation continued. It was clear that they had either completely disagreed with my recommendation, or I had failed to communicate it in a way that my colleagues would understand. 

I listened to how my colleagues formed their arguments. They didn’t actually directly say what they thought most of the time – rather they indirectly brought their colleagues to certain conclusions by asking questions and speaking around the answer.

After about half an hour, I decided to try again, as we were still on the same topic.

Instead of stating my point and then backing it with facts, I took my time.

I posed a question to my colleagues, then asked which task needed to come first, eluding to the reason why I thought one thing should come before the other.

My colleagues listened intently, and gave me the time I needed to finish. At the end, instead of the perplexed looks, tongues started wagging! ‘I agree with Chifundo’s (Chifundo is my Malawian name) point!’, ‘Let us proceed in this way!’…

I realized that it was the delivery, rather than the content of my message that was lacking.

Malawians communicate in a way that seems indirect to many Canadians.  Oftentimes the answer is not contained in an explicit statement of facts, but can be found within context, verbal and non-verbal cues and proverbs.  I find myself missing a lot and feeling very simple minded because of my difficultly in decoding proverbs (my mind feels lazy and seems to require explicitness and directness to understand things).

Proverbs roll of tongues here and are a great way of communicating and receiving consensus. I accidently dropped the old ‘Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence’ once and was surprised at the positive response and solidarity it rallied.

Another facet of Malawian communication is that although ‘no’ is technically in the vocabulary, it is rarely used.  As a direct Canadian, I have found this confusing when the actual answer to the question you are asking, if it were to be stated directly, is ‘no’.  If your ‘no’ detector goes off, you need to re-pose the question in a few ways to get to the root of the answer and determine if there is a ‘no’ at the bottom.

For example, if I ask my colleague if they are available to discuss something that day, they may say ‘yes, let’s discuss later today’. When I ask when they are available, they may indicate that they have a meeting that afternoon. If I then ask if they can meet that morning, they may tell me that yes, we can meet, but they have a report to write. It becomes clear that the meeting isn’t happening that day.

I may then ask if another time later this week would be better, and they will say yes and recommend a time when they are actually free to meet.

Software of the Mind - Part 3: Malawian Greetings

 When I started working in Malawi, I didn’t understand why everyone needed to constantly greet everyone else in the office.

A colleague would walk in, go to EACH PERSON’s desk to ask ‘Mwadzuka Bwanji?’ (have you woken up well?), to which each person would reply ‘Ndadzuka bwino, kaya inu?’ (yes, I have woken well, and yourself?), the greeter would reply that they had also woken up well, before moving on to the next person. At first, this seemed like a whole-lotta o’ hoopla, and I failed to understand the importance of the ritual.

The Malawian morning greeting tradition is very different than in Canada where I would walk into work and say a quick hello to the group before turning on the computer and getting to work.

In Malawi, walking past people and starting work without greetings is unthinkable.

The reason?

Greetings are a very important part of Malawian culture. For many, the greeting is more important than anything that is discussed after. To not acknowledge a fellow human being in your vicinity is an abomination.

If there is someone (Malawian) that I have never met before, I make sure to greet them properly – extend my hand, put my other hand to my elbow (done to show respect and demonstrate that you are not hiding anything) and then bend my knees and bob down slightly (also a sign of respect).

There are many different types of greetings. One for meeting someone new or who you haven't seen in a number of days, another for the morning if you have seen the person recently, one for the afternoon or if you have already greeted the person that day, informal greetings, questions as greetings... My first pages of the Chichewa book are all about greeting and acknowledge your fellow human beings!

After being here for 6 months, I have wholeheartedly embraced this tradition.  If someone fails to greet me, it actually hurts my feelings. Yes folks, I have adapted.  I don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings, so I take my time and acknowledge people with a smile and a greeting.